Today marks one year from the day that changed everything. I’ve been reflecting back and preparing for this day with anticipation and excitement. Thinking of all the gifts I’ve been given over the past year and all that I’ve learned fills me with feelings of gratitude for all that cancer has brought me and the many blessings in my life. Thanks to cancer I understand what it really means to live. I better understand myself and my capacity to do incredible things. Thanks to cancer, I’ve experienced a superhuman strength of sorts. Thanks to cancer, I’m not afraid. The thought of death does not bring fear because I see so many ways that I will always be living. Thanks to cancer, I have deeper and more meaningful relationships. And most of all, thanks to cancer, I have a greater appreciation for what it means to be in a partnership with Yani. In one short year the bond we share is stronger and deeper, and there is no doubt we are meant for each other.
For the most part having cancer is not something I think about often, which might explain the lapse in updates on my part. There are many days when I think, “I have cancer” only once a day, and a couple of times I completely forget.
Have I been frustrated with my situation? Absolutely. Have there been meltdowns? Most definitely. Does cancer suck? Yeah, it really does. Have the side effects of treatment brought me to tears? For sure. But, in all, those things are temporary, and the long-term lessons are immeasurable. I know the importance of resting when I need to, and that when a day is bad, the best thing to do is just go to bed and start over tomorrow. Most of all, I don’t carry yesterday’s grief into today.
From here on out, every day is a day I beat the odds and put myself closer to the outer edge of the bell curve. My tiny tumors are neither shrinking or growing. I’m medically stable and it feels great.
All of you who continue to reach out and follow along with me are among my many blessings. I hope you all are enjoying Reno’s beautiful Fall weather. This is my most favorite season.
With love, heart and gratitude, ~jessica